The Happy Madman

A Race of Fear

2008-07-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

I can't imagine anything more horrifying than rape, oppression and enslavement. It's enough to make one run away from all reminders of it, but then I don't believe in bad luck or that you become what you are conscious of.

If I see a black cat I try to make friends with it and the number thirteen doesn't bother me at all.

Also when I meet a woman or a person of color who may speak of a history of violence and injustice I don't shun them. Nor do I hide from a person in power who may try to control me.

Every thinking person is expected to hold his township, race, creed, gender and country above all others. Even if they do so pleasantly and without aggression they may still be termed "-ISTS" (race-ist, sex-ist, national-ist...). They have, even if it is in a mild form, some prejudice of one ice cream flavor over another.

I, too, am an -IST, but I choose the entire human race and not just sub-sections of it. I like people better than dogs and cats and squirrels and I love dogs and cats and squirrels. But I wouldn't marry a dog a cat or even a cute little squirrel.

I think it's terrible that people fear and hate one another, but what's worse is that they let that fear and hatred control their present day actions leading to ongoing cycles of misunderstanding and violence.

There IS rape, oppression and slavery in the world. It's terrible, but it exists and pretending it doesn't only gives it room to grow.

All you can do is choose NOT to rape, oppress and enslave because you can only control yourself. Others will see this example and the hold of fear will lessen and eventually be lost.

It may seem like wishful thinking, but then what other kind of thinking is there? Fearful?

Ask Away

2008-07-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

Since answers rarely satisfy it is the forming of the questions themselves that may help to bring wisdom.

No wonder little kids are stuck in perpetual loops of asking "why? why? why?"

Don't Kill A Good Thing

2008-04-10T23:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes that uncomfortable feeling is growth.

Why "Now?"

2008-04-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

Live in the Now, they tell us. Be present and conscious in the glorious, wonderful NOW!

What the hell's so great about Now? What if I want to look forward to some exciting future thing or reminisce about a pleasant past experience?

What if living in the Now causes me to stare too long at a pretty girl and she gets creeped out as her whole life flashes before my eyes from dating, marrying, parenting and finally dying before me?

And then she slaps me or yells?

That "Now" doesn't sound so hot.

I prefer to daydream in situations like that and leave the Now to the gurus.

Is Dead Better?

2008-04-10T13:41:00.001-07:00

If Houses of Faith proclaim that the After-Life is infinitely better than Life (After-Life Prep) then why aren't more people running to get there?

If being dead is really better than we should all be looking for those people who deserve to go. If it's such a reward then it should be reserved for the truly worthy.

Only the good die young because they earned it?

And yet people cling to this waiting room called Life to the bitter end.

Why?

Because you can't be king of the mountain if you quit the game and nobody likes a quitter.

If someone knocks you off the hill then, well, okay, you tried and hopefully you had enough points to make it to the record books.

Just don't ruin the game for the rest of us.

Life is better because even when it's filled with strife it's still better than warming the eternal bench.

The Anti-Hitler

2008-04-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

Please keep in mind that Adolf was a card-carrying member of the human race and that in merely 56 years he was able to change the face of the planet.

He had so much ambition that, if not for the awful bloodlust, he might have actually accomplished something to be proud of--if only he used his powers for good!

Can you be so bloodlust-y and still be good or does being good always carry a calmer head? (On the shoulders, not a platter, mind you).

Mother Theresa was pretty good, Reverend King, Mahatma Gandhi...

Any one of us can be good to such a degree. We all still eat and sleep and pass water.

Mozart and Einstein had some pretty good imaginations, but they also applied themselves to the problems of manifestation.

So could we. We all are only visitors to this planet and temporary members of this race just like Alexander The Great (if you want to call an immature conquerer that).

Oprah has just as many hours in the day as any of us after all.

We can all be Anti-Hitlers if we really want to help and transform the world.

Secret Killers

2008-04-05T23:13:00.000-07:00

This power of positive thinking trend we're in right now (again) is perhaps overindulged.

Being upbeat, proactive and hard-working doesn't mean much if the opportunities aren't there.

Even when you try to make your own opportunities luck is always a factor.

Thinking otherwise can be quite the let down when it doesn't happen right away.

It takes a little perspective and a lot of trying, really.

I'll let you know when it works.

Cherry Death

2008-04-05T00:33:00.000-07:00

Cherry hemangiomas are those little red moles that some people get on their skin. If you don't get them don't worry because I believe I got your share.

I had one on my scalp for a long while and the barber always caught the edge of it with his comb making haircuts utterly annoying.

Then I had a little extra medical coverage one day and I got that sucker lopped off. The doctor said I could've even just taken the thing off myself since they don't bleed that much, but I wanted that sucker eradicated by a pro.

Other ones grow, but they don't get too big so I leave them be. One has been getting extra roomy on the back of my head and it got a little torn so that it just plain stung. I didn't have insurance to worry about this time so I just took a pair of scissors and snipped it.

Feels fine now and I just performed a medical operation!

Ah, Med School, I could've known ye.

Laugh-ercize

2008-04-04T00:27:00.000-07:00

Ever laughed until your sides hurt?

That's exercise. Do it more, fatty.

(That's a note to me, but you can use it).

Bully Cotton

2008-04-03T23:26:00.000-07:00

I don't cotton to bullies and, just like a person who hates coconut can taste it in fifty gallons of peanut soup, I can spot them in a crowd.

(Although I rather like coconut, but that's neither here nor there--but hey, this is a blog not a book report).

Bullies come in many guises. There's the introvert who explodes when he gets confused, the prima donna who stings when she's ignored, the victim who wants to make up for his own childhood traumas by re-inflicting them and the friend who improves his esteem by mocking yours.

I tend to get either loud or quiet with a bully. With the introvert I'll get super loud to show him that he hasn't reinvented the shout and with the mocker I'll just walk away until I can mock him and then refrain from doing so to show class.

Mad Daze

2008-04-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

It's one of those Mad Days...

The new computer we bought through a wholesaler (took three months) finally arrived, but we still had the ancient picture-tube monitor. It worked, so, whatever.

The editing programs and footage for our film were successfully moved from the old to the new only to fail to open since the machine was too new for the programs.

Last night the monitor blew out after only three days with the new comp!

So it's back to the last-century laptop. And back to the job search too (since without a film we can't earn).

I called my local Temp Agency to get the online sign in info and the girl who answered asked me if I could log in and I said I needed the login information from her first, like the website said. She asked me that same question ("Can you log in?") FIVE times. I kept my tone pleasant, but was counting off the repetitions on my hand. If she went for six I was going to cradle the phone to my ear with my shoulder and start on the other hand. (I also knew where I'd go if it got to be twenty-one).

She finally just told me to ask the website to send me the info to my email (since she didn't have any idea how to do her job--maybe I could replace HER).

I finally made it into the resume builder and job search only to be directed to an office 10 miles away! The one closest to me wasn't even listed! Do they have any idea how to do their jobs???

I have tried to email them to let them know my availability and I get no response. Phone calls are dealt with like I'm interrupting a manicure or an enema.

So then I tried to post a new Mad Blog and had to try three different browsers and eventually resot to HTML coding.

And yet I know, I know, I choose my own emotional response. They aren't injuring me personally, but it is just one of those Mad Days just the same.

The Mad Blahs

2008-04-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Madness comes in the form of the Dullsville trolley. It can't even muster the pep to be called a train to nowhere. It can start to get on the nerves.

But little things can derail it. Eating a raw onion, walking through a hospital or shaving something that doesn't need shaving.

Anything to switch it up and gain perspective.

I don't feel like doing any of those things at this very moment. So I'm writing this instead.

Meh. Helps a little.

Bad News Ain't Mad News

2008-03-31T17:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the computer I've been waiting for (for almost 3 months!) turned out not to work as hoped (prayed!). But that isn't any reason to get crazy. Things happen and I witness them, but they don't happen TO me. I can always work around such things, but if I internalize it then how can I work around me?

Pure Skull Walls

2008-03-31T00:55:00.000-07:00

The inside of my white room reminds me of the inside of my bleached and scooped out skull. I'm imagining. I have a window at one end and not much in the way of decoration, but it's cozy in here with my brains just the same.